Before I go,

I leave behind a jar of dreams, broken promises & a box full of words I’ll never say; 

I leave behind the hope to lock eyes with the soulmate I thought I found but never met; 

I leave behind days at the beach, the feeling of the sun burning my skin & the beauty of the seemingly never-ending ocean;

I leave behind an album of unwanted memories, old friends, the flowers I stuck on the wall;

I leave behind the fear of never being good enough, the cage I made for myself in a failed attempt to protect me from the world I always wanted to meet but never had the courage to;

I leave behind unanswered questions, a collection of possibilities & a record playing children’s laughter, the ones I always wanted but never had; 

I leave behind the dishes on the sink & the shoes by the entry way;

I leave behind Sunday mornings, the smell of coffee & the feeling of soft kisses on the cheek; 

I leave behind the hands who only touched me but never really felt me, a shelf full of unread books, a half empty bottle of wine & my soul spilled on the ground; 

I leave behind a bath filled with bubbles & pain, my perpetual paralyzing trepidation, a robe of hesitations & the silence cornered in my room; 

I leave behind the darkness just to find a new shade of black that might just feel like home this time.